[ it's because soleum doesn't think about surviving, he thinks about going home. he's an enigma to all the things people feel here, and all he wants to do is understand the cause behind all of this, and how they can take advantage of it. he doesn't run because he's trying to hide from being swallowed by the dark voids, he brings himself out with a purpose and a bounce to his step.
the more energy the better he has to run and not get caught. he doesn't expect who he runs into, and he wouldn't have minded it if they were two ships passing by one another without making contact. it's not the case, because two separate directions because one singular as kamui proceeds to follow along.
he never asks where kamui was going as that's not important, nor does he play the card of "i'm not who you think i am," because he wasn't able to avoid him then, how could he avoid him now even when he's dressed in entirely different attire— the lack of suit and in it's place a white shirt and jogging pants, but that roe deer mask placed on properly. ]
What's the safest place you can think of? I'll take you there.
[ it's not safe, it's as dangerous as it's ever been, and even soleum doesn't feel confident in his choices at the moment. that doesn't mean he'll allow for kamui to accompany him under these circumstances, especially when he comes in contact with these voids he feels... not like himself. he doesn't have a name for the feeling, or maybe the tug, all he knows is that he has to avoid long term exposure. he can't allow himself to fall into it again.
and the other thing he can't allow is kamui following after him when he only has a contingency plan for himself and not them both. ]
The haven't caught up to here, that means there's detours we can take.
[ his words come from behind his mask, firm as always and the direction in his logic that he takes is handle kamui first, continue on his own path second. ]
[ having already fallen into one prior, there are the inklings of that which clings and calls to kamui already though they get confused in his head with other things. it serves him however inadvertently, and allows him so-far since that first time to persist outside of them, narrowly avoiding them even in more riddled areas. some of this is the contradictory instinct in him that draws him to that which is inside these Voids, but also alerts him more sharply to the danger inherent. so when soleum asks him where to go, kamui...shakes his head. ]
I'll stay with you.
[ unlike in the car, he does not ask permission. he knows very well that soleum could just turn him out, so to speak, not out of a car but out of his company. at the same time, it might be too much trouble for him to get rid of kamui and part of him banks on that, once again drawn to soleum in a way he cannot really explain but has experienced enough repetitions of that he recognizes it. like some invisible loop of string or a ripple of familiarity. cat. person with deer mask. can of peaches. subaru. everything matters and kamui follows it like an animal with a scent caught in the air, his sleek black tail wrapped snugly around his own waist. ]
[ something he doesn't have to do, but a choice made regardless that makes soleum roll his eyes behind his mask. the most he can do is try and dodge the other, but even if he does, or tries to... it's not like he'll make distance. a cat is faster than him like this, because of what he is, he can smell soleum's scent, and that means he's unable to get away. ]
As long as you acknowledged what I asked.
[ the safest place. by his side isn't that. then again, it is, it always has been before, but nowadays he feels to lack that security. even if that's the case, he's unable to leave him alone. what has soleum learned about being alone? his actions, his methods, things like that when he starts to think he can handle the issue before him only blurs the fine line of safety and danger.
he doesn't know if kamui's like that, but soleum has thought before, or maybe it was the cat, that rather than leading that the other should follow. ]
We should stay out of danger for now until we learn what we're up against.
[ and he points towards a building that's safe from the dark spots, it looks untouched, and it's the best place to start. ]
...I'm not sure. Even...if a place might be safe for me, it might not be for others.
[ loud in his ears: soleum's breaths, his silences. loud in other ways: the discordance of his heartbeats, which always distract kamui the way a trick of the dark or the light might. he follows him with a quiet inherent more to cats than to people. even the bells on his mask jostle but keep with their wearer's silence. there is more of soleum that he does not understand than the opposite, but outside of that consciousness, there is an unconsciousness, an instinct, a draw. sometimes when he blinks, he sees a black cat instead of a grown man. sometimes, when he listens, he hears not a voice but a presence of reassurance, of leading, leading, leading. sometimes, when he turns away, it feels...wrong.
muffling a cough, out-of-place in the eerie cottony quiet of the city, kamui is also being led, striations of his attention pulled like cobwebs in contradicting directions he cannot quite make sense of. in a way it feels like someone tugging on his sleeve or a soft call of his name, but when he tries to find the source, there is nothing. it means he falls a bit farther behind soleum than he means to though, reassured by the presence of his pulse however erratic because it is familiar. ]
But I think --
[ his footsteps stall, crunch of snow faint but there. something smells...familiar, but also wrong. what is it? like some kind of rot. unconsciously his ears lay flat and the violet of his eyes skews gold. this area looks for all ostensible purposes, safe. not yet mired in the strange black holes that want to keep those who enter to themselves. having seen even the bare bones of some of those repercussions, kamui cannot help but hurry after soleum, not at all sure what he can do if something happens and yet certain that he must try. ]
[ soleum is only human— what he wants to be, what he needs to be; he's a human that wants to go home. he takes responsibility for others, he wants to keep kamui safe, and he wants to do it in a way that makes sense. if he could place him somewhere that's out of harm's way, maybe he should leave him with agent choi who is suited for the dangers here. he has a weapon, he has bells that offer clarity to the mind, he's someone who is confident to the dangers, but an enemy to himself.
it's one of those times that the lack of enemies mean there's no way he'd willingly walk into a dark spot for the hell of it with someone in tow. he would keep kamui safe, lead him somewhere with whatever extensive knowledge that he has. that's something soleum can confide in if anything. he would trust agent choi with others as long as soleum had the freedom to move outside of his radius as he protects those that need it. he looks down on kamui not because he's weak, but because he's young, because he's someone who also wants to help those by him.
but it's not his place, that's why soleum takes his place for him and puts him in a position where he doesn't have to expend hims— ]
What...
[ he turns his head to look in kamui's direction when his words cut off, he's more animal than what soleum is and that places him in a predicament that his senses are sharper. slowing down, they come to the same pace and steady steps. ]
What do you think?
[ as they come closer and closer to their building, if there's something wrong, then... is it too late to run?
[ short answer: it is very much too late. long answer: it is too late and it isn't; it is unavoidable but not inescapable. the smell becomes overbearing for a moment until it seems to blot out kamui's sense of sight, reaches into his mouth to tangle most unfortunately with the blood and dead flowers. the fur on his tail and ears seems puffed in a way that might be comical if he wasn't so on edge. it reminds him a bit of the feeling of something being built simultaneously to something being broken. his entire being vibrates with a tangible sort of distaste and his pale hand reaches out to grab onto soleum anywhere he can --
-- but nothing.
it happens so fast it doesn't feel accurate to say he 'sees' it. more so: kamui feels soleum's presence: here now, now here, --
-- nowhere.
beneath the absence, all around it, like some invisible pocket of sea or space: that high tide. without soleum present, it becomes even stronger. kamui's frame relaxes a bit, ears perking despite there being no sound to go on. rather: unnatural silence teeming with noise shut behind a jammed window or door. it's there. something is there. something.
it still smells awful, but it is almost as if kamui cannot help it: he follows.
sooner or later, he will be ashamed he did not just run after soleum for soleum's sake. for now, there is just a pull like a call only he can hear.
when a void opens up around him, it feels achingly calm, like he is supposed to be in it.
it's only soleum's scent, now present again, that shakes him free of his stupor. his face feels hot, but it's dark and if there is anyone here to see his dislike for himself, even his inhuman eyes cannot track it, yet. instead, he does his best to partition the smell of rot, the smell of his own blood, and that of soleum, close enough too to track his heart, not close enough to reach. knowing after the tunnels now better than to call out, he steps quietly but quickly.
there's this pragmatism in soleum's pulse that sometimes gets strained. calm water forcibly returned to even surface even if stones keep being throne into the center. and his scent, well, it helps that kamui has grown sort of drawn to it anyway. he's prone to follow, even if there remains something else trying to drag him in another direction. another one of the lesser guardians? sleeping or no, he shakes himself. focus. but he moves slower the farther he goes, reminded of when he fell into one with caelus how draining it was.
which worries him.
is soleum okay?
fear can be more energizing than hope.
but even as he feels he is getting closer to soleum, he also feels something getting closer to himself.
i'm being...followed?
he trips when he tries to speed up more, moving in the dark better than most but perhaps a bit too agitated.
where? where are you?
and though he does not think of it consciously, it's true:
this is the first time kamui isn't looking for someone else.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
he will turn into soup all because of kamui <3
the more energy the better he has to run and not get caught. he doesn't expect who he runs into, and he wouldn't have minded it if they were two ships passing by one another without making contact. it's not the case, because two separate directions because one singular as kamui proceeds to follow along.
he never asks where kamui was going as that's not important, nor does he play the card of "i'm not who you think i am," because he wasn't able to avoid him then, how could he avoid him now even when he's dressed in entirely different attire— the lack of suit and in it's place a white shirt and jogging pants, but that roe deer mask placed on properly. ]
What's the safest place you can think of? I'll take you there.
[ it's not safe, it's as dangerous as it's ever been, and even soleum doesn't feel confident in his choices at the moment. that doesn't mean he'll allow for kamui to accompany him under these circumstances, especially when he comes in contact with these voids he feels... not like himself. he doesn't have a name for the feeling, or maybe the tug, all he knows is that he has to avoid long term exposure. he can't allow himself to fall into it again.
and the other thing he can't allow is kamui following after him when he only has a contingency plan for himself and not them both. ]
The haven't caught up to here, that means there's detours we can take.
[ his words come from behind his mask, firm as always and the direction in his logic that he takes is handle kamui first, continue on his own path second. ]
soupcat hours
I'll stay with you.
[ unlike in the car, he does not ask permission. he knows very well that soleum could just turn him out, so to speak, not out of a car but out of his company. at the same time, it might be too much trouble for him to get rid of kamui and part of him banks on that, once again drawn to soleum in a way he cannot really explain but has experienced enough repetitions of that he recognizes it. like some invisible loop of string or a ripple of familiarity. cat. person with deer mask. can of peaches. subaru. everything matters and kamui follows it like an animal with a scent caught in the air, his sleek black tail wrapped snugly around his own waist. ]
sadcat hours
As long as you acknowledged what I asked.
[ the safest place. by his side isn't that. then again, it is, it always has been before, but nowadays he feels to lack that security. even if that's the case, he's unable to leave him alone. what has soleum learned about being alone? his actions, his methods, things like that when he starts to think he can handle the issue before him only blurs the fine line of safety and danger.
he doesn't know if kamui's like that, but soleum has thought before, or maybe it was the cat, that rather than leading that the other should follow. ]
We should stay out of danger for now until we learn what we're up against.
[ and he points towards a building that's safe from the dark spots, it looks untouched, and it's the best place to start. ]
no subject
[ loud in his ears: soleum's breaths, his silences. loud in other ways: the discordance of his heartbeats, which always distract kamui the way a trick of the dark or the light might. he follows him with a quiet inherent more to cats than to people. even the bells on his mask jostle but keep with their wearer's silence. there is more of soleum that he does not understand than the opposite, but outside of that consciousness, there is an unconsciousness, an instinct, a draw. sometimes when he blinks, he sees a black cat instead of a grown man. sometimes, when he listens, he hears not a voice but a presence of reassurance, of leading, leading, leading. sometimes, when he turns away, it feels...wrong.
muffling a cough, out-of-place in the eerie cottony quiet of the city, kamui is also being led, striations of his attention pulled like cobwebs in contradicting directions he cannot quite make sense of. in a way it feels like someone tugging on his sleeve or a soft call of his name, but when he tries to find the source, there is nothing. it means he falls a bit farther behind soleum than he means to though, reassured by the presence of his pulse however erratic because it is familiar. ]
But I think --
[ his footsteps stall, crunch of snow faint but there. something smells...familiar, but also wrong. what is it? like some kind of rot. unconsciously his ears lay flat and the violet of his eyes skews gold. this area looks for all ostensible purposes, safe. not yet mired in the strange black holes that want to keep those who enter to themselves. having seen even the bare bones of some of those repercussions, kamui cannot help but hurry after soleum, not at all sure what he can do if something happens and yet certain that he must try. ]
no subject
it's one of those times that the lack of enemies mean there's no way he'd willingly walk into a dark spot for the hell of it with someone in tow. he would keep kamui safe, lead him somewhere with whatever extensive knowledge that he has. that's something soleum can confide in if anything. he would trust agent choi with others as long as soleum had the freedom to move outside of his radius as he protects those that need it. he looks down on kamui not because he's weak, but because he's young, because he's someone who also wants to help those by him.
but it's not his place, that's why soleum takes his place for him and puts him in a position where he doesn't have to expend hims— ]
What...
[ he turns his head to look in kamui's direction when his words cut off, he's more animal than what soleum is and that places him in a predicament that his senses are sharper. slowing down, they come to the same pace and steady steps. ]
What do you think?
[ as they come closer and closer to their building, if there's something wrong, then... is it too late to run?
something may be coming. ]
no subject
-- but nothing.
it happens so fast it doesn't feel accurate to say he 'sees' it. more so: kamui feels soleum's presence: here now, now here, --
-- nowhere.
beneath the absence, all around it, like some invisible pocket of sea or space: that high tide. without soleum present, it becomes even stronger. kamui's frame relaxes a bit, ears perking despite there being no sound to go on. rather: unnatural silence teeming with noise shut behind a jammed window or door. it's there. something is there. something.
it still smells awful, but it is almost as if kamui cannot help it: he follows.
sooner or later, he will be ashamed he did not just run after soleum for soleum's sake. for now, there is just a pull like a call only he can hear.
when a void opens up around him, it feels achingly calm, like he is supposed to be in it.
it's only soleum's scent, now present again, that shakes him free of his stupor. his face feels hot, but it's dark and if there is anyone here to see his dislike for himself, even his inhuman eyes cannot track it, yet. instead, he does his best to partition the smell of rot, the smell of his own blood, and that of soleum, close enough too to track his heart, not close enough to reach. knowing after the tunnels now better than to call out, he steps quietly but quickly.
there's this pragmatism in soleum's pulse that sometimes gets strained. calm water forcibly returned to even surface even if stones keep being throne into the center. and his scent, well, it helps that kamui has grown sort of drawn to it anyway. he's prone to follow, even if there remains something else trying to drag him in another direction. another one of the lesser guardians? sleeping or no, he shakes himself. focus. but he moves slower the farther he goes, reminded of when he fell into one with caelus how draining it was.
which worries him.
is soleum okay?
fear can be more energizing than hope.
but even as he feels he is getting closer to soleum, he also feels something getting closer to himself.
i'm being...followed?
he trips when he tries to speed up more, moving in the dark better than most but perhaps a bit too agitated.
where? where are you?
and though he does not think of it consciously, it's true:
this is the first time kamui isn't looking for someone else.
just soleum.
only soleum. ]