[ short answer: it is very much too late. long answer: it is too late and it isn't; it is unavoidable but not inescapable. the smell becomes overbearing for a moment until it seems to blot out kamui's sense of sight, reaches into his mouth to tangle most unfortunately with the blood and dead flowers. the fur on his tail and ears seems puffed in a way that might be comical if he wasn't so on edge. it reminds him a bit of the feeling of something being built simultaneously to something being broken. his entire being vibrates with a tangible sort of distaste and his pale hand reaches out to grab onto soleum anywhere he can --
-- but nothing.
it happens so fast it doesn't feel accurate to say he 'sees' it. more so: kamui feels soleum's presence: here now, now here, --
-- nowhere.
beneath the absence, all around it, like some invisible pocket of sea or space: that high tide. without soleum present, it becomes even stronger. kamui's frame relaxes a bit, ears perking despite there being no sound to go on. rather: unnatural silence teeming with noise shut behind a jammed window or door. it's there. something is there. something.
it still smells awful, but it is almost as if kamui cannot help it: he follows.
sooner or later, he will be ashamed he did not just run after soleum for soleum's sake. for now, there is just a pull like a call only he can hear.
when a void opens up around him, it feels achingly calm, like he is supposed to be in it.
it's only soleum's scent, now present again, that shakes him free of his stupor. his face feels hot, but it's dark and if there is anyone here to see his dislike for himself, even his inhuman eyes cannot track it, yet. instead, he does his best to partition the smell of rot, the smell of his own blood, and that of soleum, close enough too to track his heart, not close enough to reach. knowing after the tunnels now better than to call out, he steps quietly but quickly.
there's this pragmatism in soleum's pulse that sometimes gets strained. calm water forcibly returned to even surface even if stones keep being throne into the center. and his scent, well, it helps that kamui has grown sort of drawn to it anyway. he's prone to follow, even if there remains something else trying to drag him in another direction. another one of the lesser guardians? sleeping or no, he shakes himself. focus. but he moves slower the farther he goes, reminded of when he fell into one with caelus how draining it was.
which worries him.
is soleum okay?
fear can be more energizing than hope.
but even as he feels he is getting closer to soleum, he also feels something getting closer to himself.
i'm being...followed?
he trips when he tries to speed up more, moving in the dark better than most but perhaps a bit too agitated.
where? where are you?
and though he does not think of it consciously, it's true:
this is the first time kamui isn't looking for someone else.
crushed. crushed. crushed. it hurts. crushed. crushed. crushed. the invisible weight pushes at his shoulders, against his head, he's bent forward, there's a headache at the pounding against his brain. crushed. crushed. crushed.
it's completely dark. there's no sound, no answer from kamui stating his concerns that soleum would have relied on for the moment. his instincts are more developed than a human's, there's an advantage to taking in account for an animal's intuition because at the end of the day soleum is still human.
he's only human.
crushed. crushed. crushed.
everything is heavy. his thoughts are murky. he's looking everywhere because what did kamui have to say. crushed. crushed. the darkness came, that's right, because watched it envelop him in one swift swallow. it separated him and kamui for a reason. that's right. he doesn't have to run anymore, he can start walking even though it feels as though he's never made any movement. a small rodent in a hamster wheel, the protagonist sprite in the middle of a gamebody advance game where only the scenery moved and never the character.
he can slow down, he doesn't have to search because kamui is outside, and soleum is inside. there's no need for him to come within the dark spot when he knows he has to think about himself and no one else, he should believe that soleum can get out sooner or later. sooner or later. later or sooner. now, he'll get out now.
kamui must be worried.
he won't do anything stupid.
kamui won't do anything stupid.
he must be worried.
...
splash!
no matter where kamui goes, he goes in further and further. turn around then he's deeper in the encompassing darkness, go back and he's still in this thickening darkness, go up...
fall down.
his knees are wet. his palms are wet. a murky black substance underneath his body, it ripples and there are pieces mixed within. teeth? hair? strips of black organs? it's all mixed between this black sludge, and it trembles underneath the weight. that splash causes some of the liquid to splatter onto the young boy's face.
...
lines blur, it's really hard to think with his head pounding as it is. a sharp pain courses through his head, in his mind, even the pit of his stomach feels punched or even kneed from a heavy force. that's fear and nausea.
his eyes open again, they've always been open.
that's kamui?
everything is so... blurry, his vision like tears in the way it merges kamui's appearance together into something he can't make out. by his eyes, they ripple, a streak of tear? is kamui crying? he can feel his touch on kamui's skin, he thinks hes caressing but why would he do that? he should say sorry for invading his space, he didn't mean to.
don't cry. let's go. don't cry.
don't cry.
but the imagery gets worse, is soleum crying? he can't cry in front of kamui, he doesn't think he missed him that much. was he that worried? it's raining then, maybe it's wet. everything feels like a liquid and then it feels like nothing at all.
but through this frosted, glass screen he looks through, or maybe it's obscure as his vision is broken apart from the tears? the rain? why does kamui look both far and distant. why does soleum feel relaxed but also spreading, spreading.
his feelings are neither here nor there, muted almost.
drip, drip.
the hand falls from kamui's cheek, and soleum thinks probably moved his head away, the slick texture of the rain between them.
bubble.
underneath kamui, those organs have melted into a black, liquid like substance that's matte in its appearance. nearby, a deer-like mask lays off to the side unworn.
the smell. the intoxicating smell of this liquid on his body, underneath his weight. the drips of unknown liquid that's simple splatters fall from his face.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
-- but nothing.
it happens so fast it doesn't feel accurate to say he 'sees' it. more so: kamui feels soleum's presence: here now, now here, --
-- nowhere.
beneath the absence, all around it, like some invisible pocket of sea or space: that high tide. without soleum present, it becomes even stronger. kamui's frame relaxes a bit, ears perking despite there being no sound to go on. rather: unnatural silence teeming with noise shut behind a jammed window or door. it's there. something is there. something.
it still smells awful, but it is almost as if kamui cannot help it: he follows.
sooner or later, he will be ashamed he did not just run after soleum for soleum's sake. for now, there is just a pull like a call only he can hear.
when a void opens up around him, it feels achingly calm, like he is supposed to be in it.
it's only soleum's scent, now present again, that shakes him free of his stupor. his face feels hot, but it's dark and if there is anyone here to see his dislike for himself, even his inhuman eyes cannot track it, yet. instead, he does his best to partition the smell of rot, the smell of his own blood, and that of soleum, close enough too to track his heart, not close enough to reach. knowing after the tunnels now better than to call out, he steps quietly but quickly.
there's this pragmatism in soleum's pulse that sometimes gets strained. calm water forcibly returned to even surface even if stones keep being throne into the center. and his scent, well, it helps that kamui has grown sort of drawn to it anyway. he's prone to follow, even if there remains something else trying to drag him in another direction. another one of the lesser guardians? sleeping or no, he shakes himself. focus. but he moves slower the farther he goes, reminded of when he fell into one with caelus how draining it was.
which worries him.
is soleum okay?
fear can be more energizing than hope.
but even as he feels he is getting closer to soleum, he also feels something getting closer to himself.
i'm being...followed?
he trips when he tries to speed up more, moving in the dark better than most but perhaps a bit too agitated.
where? where are you?
and though he does not think of it consciously, it's true:
this is the first time kamui isn't looking for someone else.
just soleum.
only soleum. ]
no subject
crushed. crushed. crushed. it hurts. crushed. crushed. crushed. the invisible weight pushes at his shoulders, against his head, he's bent forward, there's a headache at the pounding against his brain. crushed. crushed. crushed.
it's completely dark. there's no sound, no answer from kamui stating his concerns that soleum would have relied on for the moment. his instincts are more developed than a human's, there's an advantage to taking in account for an animal's intuition because at the end of the day soleum is still human.
he's only human.
crushed. crushed. crushed.
everything is heavy. his thoughts are murky. he's looking everywhere because what did kamui have to say. crushed. crushed. the darkness came, that's right, because watched it envelop him in one swift swallow. it separated him and kamui for a reason. that's right. he doesn't have to run anymore, he can start walking even though it feels as though he's never made any movement. a small rodent in a hamster wheel, the protagonist sprite in the middle of a gamebody advance game where only the scenery moved and never the character.
he can slow down, he doesn't have to search because kamui is outside, and soleum is inside. there's no need for him to come within the dark spot when he knows he has to think about himself and no one else, he should believe that soleum can get out sooner or later. sooner or later. later or sooner. now, he'll get out now.
kamui must be worried.
he won't do anything stupid.
kamui won't do anything stupid.
he must be worried.
...
splash!
no matter where kamui goes, he goes in further and further. turn around then he's deeper in the encompassing darkness, go back and he's still in this thickening darkness, go up...
fall down.
his knees are wet. his palms are wet. a murky black substance underneath his body, it ripples and there are pieces mixed within. teeth? hair? strips of black organs? it's all mixed between this black sludge, and it trembles underneath the weight. that splash causes some of the liquid to splatter onto the young boy's face.
...
lines blur, it's really hard to think with his head pounding as it is. a sharp pain courses through his head, in his mind, even the pit of his stomach feels punched or even kneed from a heavy force. that's fear and nausea.
his eyes open again, they've always been open.
that's kamui?
everything is so... blurry, his vision like tears in the way it merges kamui's appearance together into something he can't make out. by his eyes, they ripple, a streak of tear? is kamui crying? he can feel his touch on kamui's skin, he thinks hes caressing but why would he do that? he should say sorry for invading his space, he didn't mean to.
don't cry. let's go. don't cry.
don't cry.
but the imagery gets worse, is soleum crying? he can't cry in front of kamui, he doesn't think he missed him that much. was he that worried? it's raining then, maybe it's wet. everything feels like a liquid and then it feels like nothing at all.
but through this frosted, glass screen he looks through, or maybe it's obscure as his vision is broken apart from the tears? the rain? why does kamui look both far and distant. why does soleum feel relaxed but also spreading, spreading.
his feelings are neither here nor there, muted almost.
drip, drip.
the hand falls from kamui's cheek, and soleum thinks probably moved his head away, the slick texture of the rain between them.
bubble.
underneath kamui, those organs have melted into a black, liquid like substance that's matte in its appearance. nearby, a deer-like mask lays off to the side unworn.
the smell. the intoxicating smell of this liquid on his body, underneath his weight. the drips of unknown liquid that's simple splatters fall from his face.
crushed. squish. squelch.
found him. ]